A Privileged Position

Second in a series perhaps inspired by Nevedhaa and, in a conversation in a dark random MIT building after puzzle hunt oh-so-long-ago, Zoe. This time some collected thoughts on privilege and the ways that it manifests, from the position of someone now privileged, and the things that I overlook. There are, of course, the common ones, but I do wonder what are the more unusual ways that having the things that I have, for granted, manifest.

Privilege (of many kinds) allows you to:

Have a deep sense that everything is going to be okay. More okay taking risks, and going off the beaten path, because there is only so low that they can fall. SF is full of people who will "judge" you for taking the more 'default' track — going to intern at a bigtechco, finance — or for having "smaller" goals. I know that some people were able to gain this confidence by instead believing in their own human capital — I am smart and well-connected.

Be humble, and generous. I do notice, among my friends who are pretty well off, in which I'd include myself (and have good relationships with their parents), that they still want to maintain a sense of detachment from the money that they have and their parents. I think this is healthy and good, though I also do endorse the opposite reaction, which is to be extremely generous — treat your friends, donate to charity etc. Perhaps some combination of both?

Dream big. My parents, during a recent period of stress about the decisions that I made, consoled me, and said we can take care of ourselves. And I'm so lucky for this — for many people, the weight of the dependents and expectations is one that causes them to stay home at where they are. This further generalizes that having more wealthy parents often means that their priorities are somewhat more aligned — figuring out education, hanging out in social classes, challenging you on what you need to do. They also generally tend to have a lot more of their life figured out: they can help you do taxes, invest, connect you to people who can get you your first job.

Be free from the emotional and time cost of financial worries. I think it is not only the money itself, but the logistical burden that came with it. I did not have to take student loans, or, in any meaningful sense, have to make decisions that were impacted by my finances. I do not have to maintain my grades in order to keep financial aid / a scholarship. I do not have to worry about supporting my parents, or the rest of my family, for their retirement or right now. Or saving, in any meaningful sense. I think the sheer cognitive load of having every purchase decision being one where I really have to weigh the options, and see whether this is worth it, would add so much hidden time to my day.

Pay upfront fixed costs. There is a sense in which, once you have a lot of one resource, you can make tradeoffs in others — I can afford to, for example, take a lower-paying job right now, and then know that if I wanted to, I could switch into something better later (and the sum amount of money that I earn would be higher.) Another specific example of this would be the entrepreneur in the third-world country that needs a comparatively small amount of capital to start.

Not stand out, and avoid preconceptions. I had the pretty unusual experience of hanging out in a Republican conference in DC in which I was one of two asians in the room, and, even though I'd not really believed it before, I stood out. (It didn't help that I was woefully underdressed with white sneakers and a casual suit.) I wonder what this must be like for minorities in all positions (girls at many STEM places? black people at ratcamp?), and whether this ever becomes normal. There is a lack of shared context — I feel so much more similar to people who grew up in a similar social class to me, because we kind of had the same kinds of experiences growing up. And it's not only fitting in, in the most superficial sense, but avoiding stereotypes and prejudices.

Just abide by the social norms are. There are implicit social norms: going out to eat, getting places in Ubers, travelling, choosing which accommodation to stay in. These social norms are often imposed by the person who takes the most initiative, and are some average of the group, but this is hard when you have a bimodal group — of, for example, broke college students and sf tech people.

Experience the world, and open the mind. Being aware and accepting of others/world problems is a thing you can only do if you 1) have the opportunity to learn about those others, and 2) have the capacity to actually care. This, of course, arises most obviously from financial privilege (you can travel, you can go take a poorly-paid DC/nonprofit job etc.), but also from luck of having seen the world, or come across the right online community.